Loyalty and Forgiveness
by Robotic Fox
Summary: A warriors loyalty to their Clanmates is one of the most important aspects of Clan life. But can forgiveness and redemption fit their way in there? Ratscar and Snowbird sibling fic.
1. Chapter 1

A hiss of air escapes through my clenched teeth as I feel Shredtail's teeth sink deep into my shoulder. His grip is like a vice as he continues to dig his teeth harder into the flesh, dangerously near my neck, which he had most likely aimed for originally. His swiping claws nick at my ears and face, trying to reach any vulnerable spots he could reach. I clench my teeth even harder, to the point where I can hear them begin to crack as I manage to lock eyes with him. I can tell from the burning animosity in his eyes he wanted me to feel every agonizing moment of pain I could before he slaughtered me like a piece of prey.

Little did he know was that I rarely tried to please cats I blatantly disliked.

Twisting my body at an uncomfortable angle, I rake my claws across his flank, snapping my teeth at any part of the body I could reach. His uncomfortable hisses and growls indicate I was doing somewhat of a good job and urge me forward. It's not the strongest, or exactly most strategic of all my move sets, but it felt right to right now. I was growing desperate. So, I simply continued this little move whilst using my large, bulky muscles to try and pry the smaller tom off of my form.

After a few strenuous heartbeats or two, I finally accomplished my goal and managed to rip Shredtail off of my person, taking a good chunk of my shoulder off with him. Searing hot pain shot up my shoulder, making me feel wobbly and unbalanced. Clenching my red-stained teeth until they hurt, I looked over and saw the heavy gash that marred my form, wincing at the white-hot pain shrouding around it. Crimson blood seeped down my shoulder, turning my kinky oak-brown into wet, dark-brown spikes.

I've suffered a good amount of injuries in my time (I didn't earn the name 'scar' part of my name for nothing), but I swear to all of StarClan I never felt as much pain as I did right there. It was jarring really. As I tried to remain steady and not collapse in pain, I looked over and saw Shredtail leering at me, tail swishing arrogantly in the air.

When he notices my gaze, he breaks out into a full-out grin, exposing his own set of red-stained teeth. Snickering mercilessly, he took a threatening step toward me and hissed out, "I think I just added another scar to your collection there, Ratscar."

Actually, I'm pretty sure he added more than just one scar…

I didn't say anything back to him. I simply got into another battle stance, ignoring the fiery-hot pain being emitted from all the scratches dealt on my body. My adrenaline had run out a long time ago. No longer was I numb to pain. No longer did I have the usual stamina I maintained during other battles.

Shredtail's grinning demeanor morphed back into one of burning animosity once more. Obviously he wanted at least a reaction to his verbal jabs. I tried to not look intimidated by the sharp, teeth he exposed my way. The fur along his neck and back fluffed up, his tail now swishing violently through the air. I simply stood my ground, raising my hackles out and unsheathing my claws. He was intimidating yes, but a good warrior shouldn't let simple intimidation take him down.

We stared at each other for a few agonizing moments before Shredtail broke the showdown.

"Traitor!" he screeched out, lunging like an adder at me, anger ablaze in his amber eyes. Out of pure instinct, I lunged back, ready to show the Dark Forest warrior I had a set of claws myself. But he was quicker and more experienced in the art of fighting than I was.

I didn't even have a chance to scratch the tom before sheer agony cut across my body, namely my face, as Shredtail knocked me onto my back and slashed his claws all the way across my face, barely avoiding my exposed eyes. I let out an involuntary screech, sliding my feet underneath his stomach and kicking him off as hard as I could in the belly.

The minute I managed to kick him off, I stood up, shaking and swiping at my stinging face. Blood was beginning to seep in my eyes, burning them. Panic instantly set in as I backed up blindly, unable to see where I was going or whether or not Shredtail was lunging at me.

I backed up a couple more paces until I felt myself bump into the hard trunk of a tree. Surprise made me flinch and I involuntarily tripped on my own feet, landing in an ungraceful thud. The minute I fell, a foreign weight clambered on top of me and a sense of malevolence went through me. I didn't even have to open my eyes to know who was on top of me.

Pain and panic swept across me as I tried to escape my foe's pin, my efforts quickly proving fruitless. Shredtail had me successfully pinned and he was taking advantage of it, his teeth snapping and claws raking at any part of me he could possibly reach.

One thing I learned during that experience was that when you were on the verge of death like that, your body begins to go into sensory overload. The yowls from the other warring cats and Shredtail's gleeful laughs and snarls seemed to be a hundred times louder than originally. The pain of his razor sharp claws seemed to be more harsh than before. The smell of blood and cats suddenly became overwhelming, causing my head to swirl in hazy pain as my eyes tried to make sense of all the blurs, my eyes having finally cracked open, if only to try and help me fight back against my ruthless attacker.

My thoughts were a swirl of chaotic thoughts, overwhelming my whole entire being as I tried to make sense of it all. The only thought that seemed to be coherent and clear amidst it all was one dreaded one. A thought that no cat wants to experience.

'I am going to die'.

One of the rules of fighting is your not supposed to focus on the negatives. If you are so focused on the negatives, the outcome will not be positive on you. You had to walk into the battle with the mindset to win. That you would win. Dismay only hindered your abilities as a warrior.

But that thought was still prevalent in my head, screaming its existence onto my ears, causing my head to swirl. Striking fear into my heart.

'I am going to die. I am going to die. I. Am. Going. To. Die.'

I tried to push the persistent thought away with a snarl, raking my own claws across Shredtail's forms. Trying to land blows of my own onto his body. But they were all weak compared to his. He was like a storm of claws and rage…and I was weakening under his blows. And he knew it.

"If you are going to be a traitor to the Dark Forest…then you'll die like a filthy traitor!" Shredtail practically screeched, a hint of manic glee in his voice.

He was right. I was a traitor. But not to the Dark Forest. To my own very own Clan. I had trained under their rule with a good sense of passion, unaware I was just a pawn in a very elaborate plan to try and destroy the Clans.

For a while, I had followed their rule. Followed their every whim under the allusion I was doing it to serve my Clan. Not knowing I was destroying the very foundations of Clan life. Not knowing I was serving a bunch of wretched, cruel hearted cats with nothing but malice in their vision.

But Beetlewhisker's death had put it all into perspective for me. It's pathetic that a cat had to be sacrificed in order for me to finally realize the cats I were training with were monsters…but his demise changed I and perhaps a lot of other cat's perspectives on the matter.

I never even cared much for that RiverClan tom. He was always a little too submissive and sweet for my taste. But the day he died, he died like a true warrior. He had proven himself a loyal member of his Clan and for that, I will always respect him. I still feel guilty to this day for not helping him out as Brokenstar tore the life out of his throat.

The looming thought that his soul was forever bound to that heap of a place when he deserved to live in the better side of the afterlife was also sickening. But, he might not be alone for long. When Shredtail finally stripped my life away, I would be sent down to live in darkness forever with him. StarClan had no room for traitors like me.

I was going to be killed today and I couldn't do a thing about it.

Perhaps this was retribution.

Finally, the cold claws of dismay finally overtook me and I simply gave up trying to fight back, allowing Shredtail's claws and teeth to mar my body. The only thing I could do was clench my eyes and flatten my ears and just hope StarClan would be merciful enough to make it swift.

"Leave my brother alone you filthy fox-heart!"

My eyes flew open at the sound of the cry and the sudden absence of Shredtail's weight on my person. My tail, which I realized had been between my legs, unraveled itself curiously as I look over and saw my sister, Snowbird, in front of me. In front of her, Shredtail laid limp. I thought she had murdered him momentarily, but the tom had sprung up with a confused hiss. Realization of what had happened quickly dawned on me.

Snowbird had thrown Shredtail off of me.

Snowbird was facing Shredtail, her ivory white fur bristled, hackles raised. She exposed her small, razor-sharp teeth at the Dark Forest tom, challenging him to face her. She had a few minor scratches on her coat from other scraps during this battle, but was fine otherwise, and clearly able to keep fighting. I've never seen her this angry before…

In front of her, I could see a golden tabby tom from ThunderClan, Lionblaze I think, rushing behind Shredtail to help, but I couldn't focus on that. I could only focus on Snowbird, who must've heard what Shredtail had said. But she threw him off anyway, despite the fact that I was a cold-blooded traitor. All of the sudden, the warring cats around me didn't matter. The stinging of my wounds didn't matter. The fact that I came so close to death didn't even matter anymore.

As Shredtail braced against the ThunderClan tom, I saw Snowbird face me and give me a small smile, nothing but kindness glinting in her emerald-green eyes. No…none of that mattered.

All that mattered was that my littermate, despite knowing what I've done, had defended me without hesitation. I blinked in shock for a moment…and smirked.

The number one rule of the Warrior Code. Loyalty for your Clanmates always came first.


	2. Chapter 2

I stare down at my own reflection solemnly, barely recognizing the scarred cat staring back emotionlessly. Despite how unexpressive my face was, mixed emotions conflicted throughout my body, eating me alive. But I decide not to let that show though and just continue to stare at myself hypnotically, my tail swishing around in the dirt.

Various emotions were all tangled up within one another. As soon as I felt one distinct emotion, it would be lost and replaced with another one. It got to the point where I had long since stopped trying to discern which emotions exactly I was feeling. Instead, I just let them battle it out. Too let them run their course before they dissipated. To forget them eventually.

I only allowed myself to get glimpses of a few familiar feelings among the chaos. There was embarrassment. Sadness. Shame. A sprinkle of anger.

I sigh, finally deciding to tear myself away from the pool I was mentally torturing myself with. Rising to my feet, I decide to avoid my reflection for a while. I shouldn't be worried about stupid feelings or how my outward appearance looks. All of these were merely frivolous problems that added up to nothing in the end. I was a loyal warrior of ShadowClan.

If I could call myself that…

My main concern is supposed to be to my own Clan and how I should be taking care of it.

A moon has passed since the battle with the Dark Forest, and it was safe to say life was beginning to finally move on now. The battle, which had been the main subject of every cat's conversation was rarely ever mentioned anymore. Wounds that had once seemed so deep and painful had faded away or scarred; nothing more than a simple marking of the war among cat's skin.

The battle, which had sent the Clan in a bout of paranoia had nearly faded from the cat's minds. It was only a memory now. The main focus on every cat's mind seemed to be Tawnypelt's new litter of kits that had been born three days ago. Good. I wanted to forget about that battle as much as I could.

Slowly, but surely, border patrols seemed to lessen more and more now. Guards weren't posted as often, and everything was slowly going back into the old regime.

Trying to keep my mind on the positive, I turn around to go and return to the middle of the camp.

I didn't expect to see Snowbird and Blackstar right in front of my face. I flinched heavily for a moment, before regaining what was left of my composure. Giving my fluffed up chest fur a couple of licks, I silently wondered how long the two of them had been sitting there just staring at me.

Given by the worried stares, long enough. Okay, Blackstar was more or less glaring at me if anything, but whatever. Snowbird's emerald pools were lit with silent worry, and that was enough to have me know that she'd seen enough.

I ducked my head slightly, my ears flattening a little. Heat runs through my fur as I try and save whatever face I have left. Clearing my throat, I dipped my head respectfully. "Yes Blackstar?"

The black and white leader continued to glare at me with his amber eyes, making me feel a lot smaller, despite the fact I was basically the exact same size. That was an interesting quality about our leader. Despite how old he was, he still looked intimidating. The kind of tom you wouldn't want to mess around with. He had the look of a perfect warrior. He was big, he was strong, and had an intimidating air to him that just made you want to back down and slink away. Quite admirable to say the least. It definitely worked when facing an enemy.

Unfortunately, he was using his natural intimidation tactic on me. He was treating me like an enemy when I was a member of his Clan. The realization of this stings a little, but I'm well adjusted to it by now. The whole Clan has been treating me like this lately.

Blackstar continued his stare down with me for a few more heartbeats, before gruffly growling with a swish of his tail, "Ratscar, your on hunting patrol with Snowbird."

Still trying to act like I wasn't disconcerted, I nod my head and mumble out a quick, "Yes, Blackstar."

With that, Blackstar briskly left, leaving my sister and I by ourselves. The silence fumigating in the air was awkward and uncomfortable, but I refused to be the one who broke it. To acknowledge anything. I didn't want to talk about anything. Not with my sister, not with any cat.

I just wanted things to be normal again. I wanted to patch up my mistakes.

But we don't get everything we want do we?

Our eyes remained locked for a little while longer, before Snowbird reluctantly sighed, beckoning her tail.

"Come on…before Blackstar comes and rips our hides off."

I gave no complaints to that.

I eye the frog in front of me with scrutinizing focus. Finally, a meal. Leaf-fall was nearing its end and food was already beginning to run scarce.

Setting myself in a hunting crouch, I sneak up on the frog. But I wasn't all there. My body was in the hunt, but my mind was not.

No, my mind was still lingering on the fact that more than half of my Clan, especially Blackstar, thought I was going to turn around and betray them at any moment. No matter how hard I tried to foolishly pretend it didn't bother me, I knew it was still relevant. Especially since their fear was understandable.

Redwillow's betrayal to the Clan still had some of my Clanmates left in a state of frazzled shock. Redwillow, before the Dark Forest had corrupted him, had been a perfectly loyal warrior. He went to protect his Clanmates in a heartbeat and he preformed his duties with tact. He was never special, but he was a well-respected member of the Clan.

He'd been my best friend.

But during that wretched, bloody battle, perhaps his true colors had shown in all their ugly hues. He had forgotten his loyalty to his home, his family, his Clan, and even his honor. He had left it all and reverted with those…excuses for cats. Whether he was the loyal warrior I had considered my closest friend or a savage monster corrupted by the Dark Forest's lies, I'll never know.

I never would either. It didn't matter at this point what he had been. He was nothing more than an angry, traitorous soul wandering around, lost in those lonely shadows.

He was a traitor, and because of his relations with me, I was dragged down with his reputation. I had trained in the Dark Forest with him. I was on the list. Applefur was more easily accepted by my Clanmates despite the fact she'd trained as well. She had always been a sweet and loyal warrior. She looked innocent, less threatening, more naïve.

When it came to me, I looked like a deadly warrior. From my scarred up, ugly, tattered look to the very core of my incredibly ugly name. I had everything written up as some sort of corrupted traitor.

Appearances mean a lot, even to your Clanmates.

Blackstar, who Redwillow had tried to murder during the battle, had most definitely fallen in the category of cats who didn't trust me.

I used to not care about the one long, ugly scar that had ran down my shoulder and earned me my name. I mean, it was ugly, but what warrior didn't earn a scar during a battle? But with these new scars and my now infamous reputation, I was forever hindered. I would be lucky to get a lick of trust back from my Clanmates ever again. I would be lucky to ever get a mate attracted to a cat as ugly as me. I was forever cursed to look like a scary, ugly monster.

Sighing, I leapt up to capture my prey. Snagging the frog in my claws before it could escape. Quickly killing it, I sighed. I would be surprised if Tawnypelt would even allow me to anywhere near her kits when they opened their eyes.

Picking up my catch, I was about to return to the rest of my patrol, when the rustling of bushes caught my attention. My ears pricked, my attention adverted. Who could that be?

When the figure emerged, I instantly had the urge to run away and flee. The shimmering white figure gave me a worried stare, stepping towards me hesitantly. Her face looked like she was trying to decide what to say and it was just making me more uncomfortable.

Finally, Snowbird spoke.

"Can we talk?"

Fox-dung.


End file.
